lost in confusion

Smokey D.

2008-06-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

For all the lost fans out there, check out this cartoon. Hilarious.

Happy Turkey Day!

2007-11-23T17:41:00.001-08:00

This was the apettizer plate. You should have the seen the seconds, and dessert!

Come out, come out wherever you are...

2007-10-22T18:47:00.000-07:00

J.K. Rowling recently announced Dumbledore was gay. I can honestly say I wasn't expecting that, but it makes you look at everything in a different light, especially with his past. Very interesting indeed. You can read about it here.

The tree rats are coming!

2007-10-09T16:35:00.001-07:00

Sign seen in the men's bathroom at a hospital in the Bronx. (In case you can't see it, the paper says "Please keep window almost closed. North American tree rats (squirrels) are coming in.)

breaking fast

2007-10-09T16:28:00.000-07:00

The tradtional, proper way to break your fast during Ramadan. Wow, I can feel my arteries hardening just loking at this. (I so need to go to the gym).

Fatty McFatterson

2007-09-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

This phone tap is one of the funniest things I've heard. God Bless Fat Egyptians.

Happy Ramadan

2007-09-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

A little bit late but still relevant...
Two more weeks and counting!
(as seen on this blog)

Oh So Tempting...

2007-09-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

as seen in Utter Wonder

The Pros and Cons of Moving to Canada.

PRO: Cleaner environment.
CON: Colder climate.

PRO: Universal healthcare.
CON: Higher tax rate.

PRO: The highest standard of living in the world.
CON: Not nearly as many Dunkin' Donuts.

PRO: Lower crime rate.
CON: My TiVo won't work there.

PRO: Quieter.
CON: The Grey Cup halftime show is always a disappointment.

PRO: Less crowded.
CON: Celine Dion.

PRO: Less traffic.
CON: The metric system.

PRO: Less partisan news media outlets.
CON: More than enough news stories about moose.

PRO: Less chance of being a victim of a terrorist act.
CON: More chance of getting beaten up in a Roadhouse.

PRO: Fewer Jesus People.
CON: More mean French-speaking waiters.

PRO: A multi-party political system.
CON: Celine Dion.

PRO: Good possibility that marijuana will be legalized.
CON: Pot makes me tell people I love them when I really don't.

PRO: No longer having a tool for neo-conservatives as my leader.
CON: Feeling guilty about abandoning my country during one of its darkest political periods.

PRO: Less homophobia, less racism, less intolerance.
CON: Celine Dion, Celine Dion, Celine Dion.

PRO: Closer to Santa.
CON: Thanksgiving is in October.

PRO: My sons won't have to help pay off the United States' mounting deficit.
CON: My sons will become huge Celine Dion fans.

She Should Have Known By The Way That He Walked...

2007-06-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

As see on The Superficial:

Martha Stewart Hates Egyptians

Martha Stewart was on her way to make an appearance on The View Tuesday when she noticed she was being followed by a police cruiser. When her car stopped at the studio, it was surrounded by officers and her driver was promptly arrested. Page Six reports:

A visibly upset Stewart went up to her dressing room and, according to a source, "started shouting loudly to an assistant over the phone." The domestic diva yelled, "How could you do this to me? Don't you do background checks on people? He was Egyptian! What do I pay you people for?"

Hmm, right, so apparently Martha Stewart pays her people to make sure she doesn't hire any Egyptians. I'm pretty sure that's illegal. As is cutting off somebody's head and wearing it like a mask. I think.

Nude No More

2007-06-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

I've recently been introduced to Threadless, an online shopping destination for those that like funky t-shirts. The way Threadless works is people design t-shirts and submit their ideas. People then go online and vote on the different designs, and the most popular designs get printed. Sometimes the t-shirts sell out, after which or you can vote to get them reprinted. God bless Democracy!

Check out Hooray Cholesterol!

Overheard in New York

2007-05-20T10:32:00.000-07:00

I've recently discovered Overheard in New York. Hilarious. It's quite amusing what people will say out loud in public. check it out.

Girl: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.
Male passerby: How can vegetarians love the environment? You keep eating all the plants!

Thriller, Bollywood Style

2007-05-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

This video had me dying! I don't know if the girl is afraid from the dancing or the costumes, but I share her feelings.

Voldemort in '08

2007-04-18T15:34:00.000-07:00

(as seen at cairogal's site)

Oh Flamboyant One

2007-02-22T22:24:00.000-08:00

Apparently the universe thinks I'm too flamboyant. My fortune cookie recently read:

"Simplicity and clarity should be your theme in dress"

Because clearly I often dress like this:

BUFFY LIVES!!!!

2007-01-17T17:38:00.000-08:00

I'm a big Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanatic. Love the show. LOVE IT! It's my all time favorite show, with great storylines, wonderful writing, and hilarious dialogue. Many people dismissed it as being silly, but they never understood the gem that it is. I was at a loss when the show wrapped up and went off the air. So when I found out that Joss Whedon (the creator) will be doing a "Season 8" in comic form, I was pretty elated. Fellow Buffy fans can check out the news here... It picks up the story from the last episode. The series comes out this March. I will take a Buffy fix any way I can get it. Everybody go get it!

OH CANADA!!!

2007-01-17T16:50:00.000-08:00

I had a week off between rotations and went out Toronto way to visit family. It was a fun time had by all (and there was no family on family violence this time!) I got to experience Boxing day/week, which is basically after-christmas sales bonanza with crazy deals like they have the day after Thanksgiving. Sis went crazy with the shopping, but managed to get great deals. My favorite though was waking up at 5 in the morning to go with my cousin to Best Buy the day after Christmas and standing on a line practically a mile long in the cold and sleeting weather so he could get some stuff. I guess Americans aren't the only crazy ones. Canada is nice, especially when it's not sub-zero. Found these amusing pics along the way.

Found this store at the airport selling Canadian paraphenelia.

This amused and enetertained me to no end the second I saw it. Only after a while did I realized that a Loony is a Canadian dollar coin ( the have a Loon/goose/duck on it). A 2 dollar coin is called a twoony.

Apparently this sign is telling you no matter how crazy your pee-pee dance is, you ain't gettin in unless you buy something. Ahhh.... those silly Canucks.

Saudis may ban the letter X

2007-01-17T16:46:00.000-08:00

Ummmmm...................WHAT?!?! Are you kidding me? Just came across this article about Saudis banning the letter X. Read all about the stupidity and be amazed. (Seriously, WHAT?!?!)

Would You Hire This Thug?

2006-12-27T21:07:00.000-08:00

This is my look for residency interviews. Let's see if it works out ( I should probably leave the cell phone at home considering I'm not the new Catherine Zeta-Jones.)

As seen in your local supermarket

2006-12-27T20:34:00.000-08:00

I saw this cake at the supermarket the other day. It's a monster cake, with a cookie in it's mouth. Behind it is a pink monster.Kind of amused and entertained me.

This was a blast from the past for me. I know theses cereals have been around forever, I just seemed to not mind them during my sojourns for cereal. I've recently moved on up from high-sugar, good tasting, heavily processed kids cereals like Fruity Pebbles and Peanut Butter Crunch cereals to healthy, fiber-ful adult fare like Go Lean Crunch and Shredded Wheat (it's all about the bowel movements, a healthy colon is a happy colon folks.) Maybe it's the updated new design that caught my attention. I remember being a fan of Franken Berry, even though I didn't like strawberry flavor. I could never get into Count Chocula. I don't like chocolate milk or anything with a chocolate milk taste to it (never been cuckoo for Coco Puffs.) Love hot chocolate, but not chocolate milk. Something gets lost in translation for me between the hot and the cold. I could have sworn though that there was a different scary entity cereal before Boo Berry, but I can't seem to recall (this may have been in the days before I spoke English.) Maybe something with a more mixed berry theme, something with a mummy? I may be confusing this with Smurf Berry Crunch. I might have to do some research into this matter...

Shakira Lyrics

2006-11-26T08:10:00.000-08:00

In case you never understood the lyrics to "Whenever, Wherever", this video clip explains things nicely with animation. Check it out here...

the real me

2006-11-19T19:14:00.000-08:00

I'm damn sexy...

there is no Shakira but Shakira

2006-11-10T14:03:00.000-08:00

A woman fell and hurt herself at a bar after participating in a "shake-it-like-Shakira" contest. I say, that's what you get for being stupid when you know there can be no replacement for the one and only. Not only that, but do you think you can actually move it like that and not hurt yourself? Check out the story here

the haunted forest

2006-11-02T18:39:00.000-08:00

this post had me rolling on the floor with tears of laughter. I don't know why I get amused from people getting scared, but then again I laugh at myself for the same thing (I laugh at myself for a lot of things apparently.)

No one like me...not even me

2006-11-02T18:24:00.000-08:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
0
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Apparently, there are no people in the US wiith my name. Not only do they not have my name, but apparently I don't have my name either. Nice to know I don't exist. (thanks to cairogirl for the link)

TIVO has ruined my life…again

2006-10-26T16:06:00.000-07:00

Last year my old roomie introduced me to the wonders of TIVO and I’ve never been the same since. At home, we got DVR. Yet since I’m away for this month, I have no Cable or internet hat my place. I do have basic TV channels (except for NBC… NO OFFICE!!! I’m dying inside), and at least I can keep up on my regular shows, but the problem is now I have to watch everything on time the day it’s on. I’ve become so accustomed to being able to watch whatever whenever, that now it’s so hard to go back to normal viewing. It’s kind of limiting my activities here. I have to rush home everyday if I plan on watching anything. I might have to give up a couple of shows for a month if I want to go out and about to play around here in Florida. Now comes the hard decision of which shows to let go. Lost is definitely a must see, don’t even dare tell me I can’t watch that. Do I give up Prison Break? Gilmore Girls? Smallville? Grey’s Anatomy? What to do, what to do. Damn these modern electronic wonders! Hmm…maybe I watch too much TV and I should give it up? Nah, that’s can’t be the problem.

An Interstate Runs Through It

2006-10-26T16:03:00.000-07:00

I just recently drove down from NY to Orlando, FL for my next med school rotation (more on that later). I-95 is long. Really long. No, really, it’s really, really long. Just from NY to Florida I took about 18 hours.

Anyways, here are some tidbits I learned along the way:

1) I have to pee every two hours. If I don’t, bad things may start happening. This is even while I’m fasting and can’t drink all day. Every two hours. Or bad.
2) Virgina is a long state to drive through, and it’s all looks the same. BORING!
3) JC rules the airwaves. There is a plethora of Christian rock radio stations the minute you hit Virginia. I didn’t even know there was such a demand for it. That and classic rock. People really love their classic rock and their savior. Favorite song so far, that I have heard numerous times, is Dirty White Boy.
4) The town of Yemassee, SC has water that tastes and smells like Sulfur. I thought maybe it was just the hotel I was staying at, but no, even at Denny’s it smelled and tasted odd. Travel down I-95 a little further, and the air smells like sulfur too. Yummy!
5) They still believe in smoking down South. In the two places I stopped to eat, they had smoking sections in the restaurants. One place was smart enough to put their non-smoking section in between 2 smoking sections, which were separated by a big white lattice screen, so really, they were just open onto each other. I don’t know why they even bothered to have separate sections. I think I’ve been too spoiled with the whole no smoking thing in restaurants and bars up North. I hate smoke. HATE IT!!!!
6) I can not hit high notes. I should stop trying to sing like Kelly Clarkson.
7) I made a friend ( pic of bug on car). It was quite fond of my car and refused to leave.
8) People in the south love their pig. When ordering breakfast at Denny’s, I tell my waitress no bacon or sausage with my eggs. She raises her eyebrows, looks at me for a few good seconds as if she doesn’t understand me, so I repeat no bacon or sausage or any kind of meat, just the eggs and pancakes. She looks at me again and says, “No bacon or sausage? That’s the strangest order I’ve ever gotten.”
9) Bugs like fast moving cars. They’re splattered all over the grill of my car. The further south I got, the bigger and splattier they got. You could actually hear the thuds as they hit the windshield. (insert pic).
10) It’s still summer down South. When I left New York, it started cooling of, around 65. The second I hit Florida, 90’s and humidity. Nice.

Haters

2006-10-23T19:55:00.000-07:00

I hate haters. Now, I don’t mind people teasing me about things I watch, I know I watch lots of random TV, everything from Lost, Prison Break, Smallville, Veronica Mars, Buffy, Gilmore Girls, Desperate Housewives, lots of toons, teen shows and on and on. So in general, I try to keep an open mind and not judge people of their viewing pleasures and let them watch as they please. Yet I can’t seem to get the same consideration.

Living with 3 other guys for a month, I’ve gotten nothing but annoyance and headaches from them for my TV watching. It’s not the amount of TV I watch, just the shows. I’ve been mocked for watching Gilmore Girls, it’s too girly and too talky and I’ve been compared to a 12 year old girl. I’ve had Smallville ripped apart and criticized for everything from Lois Lane not being hot (but Lana being very hot), the fact that Superman can’t fly yet (ad nauseum), stupid plots that aren’t believable (hello?! It’s a show about an alien with superpowers!) all while the show is going on. I’ve been ragged on about Prison Break because it isn’t believable. Lost isn’t a good show because it’s too convoluted and doesn’t answer any questions. All of this happens as I watch TV. The live commentary makes me not want to watch anything. All they like to watch all the time is Scrubs, the same episodes all the time (on DVD). They go nutty, laughing like crazy. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Scrubs. I’ve rushed home many a Tuesday just to watch it, but when people constantly hype something over and over, it kind of kills it for me. It’s the reason I never watched Forest Gump for 10 years. People hyped that movie up like crazy, how it was the bestest ever, and I lost any kind of interest to watch it until recently and only when there was absolutely nothing else for me to do. (For the record, I didn’t think it was that wonderful.)

For a brief second I start to second guess myself, then that doubt goes away instantly as I see how excited they get about Friday Night Smackdown (that’s wrestling for those not in the know). This from the people who tell me my shows aren't believable. Kind of ironic, no?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Yaya the photographer

2006-10-16T16:54:00.000-07:00

All I have to say is, Little Women.

You absolutely must watch this

Down South

2006-10-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

So I’m in Orlando for the month of October doing autopsy pathology, which so
far is a real nice rotation/vacation. I get to participate in autopsies when
there are any, and when not doing that I get to hang out and observe what the
pathologists do, which is cool because before I started med school I had this
thing for autopsies and pathology. I’ve moved onto Anesthesia, but I’m happy
to delve into some guts (literally) just to see if it’s something that still
interests me (kind of). It’s so chill, the people are nice, stress free, and
no patient contact (I LOVE IT!!!). Just coming off doing emergency medicine in
possibly THE busiest ER in the Bronx, it’s nice not to have to deal with any
people. Look at slides, look at guts, take 2 hour lunches (too bad I’m
fasting, instead, I play on the internet), read a book. So chill. LOVE IT.
Although I kind of get bored at times. Whatever I’ll take it.

People down here are funny. They don’t know what to do with my name. Normally
I just say my name is Ahmed (silent h), I don’t even pronounce it Arabic style
(pronounce the h). Usually I get “Hi Ed, nice to meet you” (I guess people
hear I’m Ed, which is odd, because I always say I’m Ahmed or my name is Ahmed,
so they must think I have a stuttering problem or I’m confused and need a
second to think about my name (I’m I’m Ed or my name is… I’m Ed). However,
Florida seems to be whole other beast. I’ve gotten Imhead, Ameed, Ahmet (at
least it’s a real name), and my two favorites: Ahem and Matt.

The Office Webisodes

2006-09-17T17:39:00.000-07:00

This show is hilarious. catch-up on the webisodes from the summer before the new season starts on Thursday. My favorite is number 5, "someone in the Warehouse." Go here...

cartoons and cupcakes

2006-09-07T19:18:00.000-07:00

My sister was telling me about this story she heard on NPR. Called something like cartoons and cupcakes, about how as we live longer we're pulling our childhoods and adolescence along with us, which is pretty fitting for me. Check out the story.

Poster Update

2006-09-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

This one is probably my favorite...
Yes, I know, I have issues, and I probably need to grow up...

cupcake update

2006-08-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

Oscar made it to the lineup. Although I protest to his smile. He's a grouch, his smile should be upside down. Although Zoe's unibrow was quite the surprise. It was chocolate frosting, and quite delicious. I had two of these on Saturday. Part of old roomie's bday celebrations. I continued to devour banana pudding and 2 more cupcakes from magnolia bakery. I think I'm cut off from all sweets until the end of the month. That's only 4 more days you say? You don't understand how difficult that can be for me. I'll have to tell you about my month without desserts back in June sometime.

freecycle

2006-08-25T18:50:00.000-07:00

I heard about this on NPR today (yes, I am an old man who listens to the news while driving to work). It's called freecycle. You post things you don't want and let people take it. It's not like ebay where you sell your old junk, here you give it way, no backsies, or conversely, you take it for free. Useful for stuff you have lying around the place you don't want or need but can't find a way to get rid of, or for stuff you want to take off of someone's hands. worth the check out.

Come on Napoleon, give me some Tots!

2006-08-18T22:22:00.000-07:00

I had a Napoleon Dynamite moment the other day. Doing a Radiology rotation can be somnolescent. You're in these dark rooms with people talking real softly and you have no idea what you're supposed to be looking at on the x-ray. Without fail, 5 minutes into the day, I start nodding off. My usual way of keeping myself awake is to sip, chew, or munch on something. The other day, while on a "field trip" to one of the other reading rooms, one of the docs had a huge bag of pretzels with them, seriously big, 5 pounds worth of mini-pretzels big. He offered it to everyone, and right then and there I saw my opportunity to keep awake. So I grabbed a fistfull and shoved them into my lab coat pocket so I could munch on them while reading films. Later on, while everyone is in the room reading films, I'm behind the doc, observing and learning, and every now and again I reach into my pocket and sneak a pretzel into my mouth. The whole time all I could think of was Napoleon Dynamite. I was sitting there just waiting for some jerk to kick my pocket and crumble all the pretzels. Yeah, I need a life.

2006-08-18T22:00:00.000-07:00

Cartoon network has unleashed some entertaining/weird ads all over the place. I particularly find them amusing.

Many people have no clue what's going on, which makes it even more amusing to me.

Can you tell me how to get...

2006-08-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

I like cupcakes. These were good too. Many times I have been asked,"When will you grow up?", mostly by my father (I like animation, which roughly translates to: I still watch cartoons.) Come on though, you gotta admit, those are cool cupcakes.I had a long argument/discussion about these cupcakes with my sis and cousin, both grown up and watchers of Sesame Place in their youths (as well as I). Before I presented them with these cupcakes, I was telling them of how I found these fun cupcakes at a bakery near the hospital I'm rotating through in Brooklyn right now. I told them I got a few cupcakes, Big Bird, Elmo , Zoe, and the blue guy. Cousin says,"you mean Cookie monster." Nay, I say, Cookie moster's eye were crossed (or loose and rolling around his sockets, whatever muppet impairment you want to call that), the other blue guy. Both he and sis deny the existence of another blue character. I continue to thry to persuade them of the existence of this guy. I couldn't for the life of me remember his name, but Gonzo kept coming to my mind, but I knew that wasn't right, Gonzo was the weird nosed muppet from the muppet show with the fetish for chickens (well, for Camilla the chicken anyway.) They suggested Oscar. I was like," First of all, that's Oscar the grouch, secondly, he lives in the garbage can, and thirdly, he's green.) They still didn't believe me. I tried to remind them how he was also a superhero and would put on a helmet and cape and fly around and stuff, and now they said I was making things up. We were discussing/arguing for a good 30 minutes or so, and finally we googled it and it all came flooding back to everyone: GROVER!

Hmmm... Maybe I do need to grow up...

a view from the cape

2006-08-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

The view from cape cod, a little reprieve from the moving and before my forced excursion to Maine for school stuff. It was pretty. Picture doesn't really do it justice.

Death by chocolate

2006-07-16T14:02:00.000-07:00

We made fondue the other night. It was obscene.

Me, roomie, and a friend decided to make dessert after going out to dinner. We followed the directions to make fondue for eight. We were three people.
We ate for eight.
We did some major damage that night. We almost finished the whoe pot. It was madness, but oh so good. Suprise hits of the night were the granny smith apples (sweet with sour), the pineapple (the juicy really worked well), but best of all was the angel food cake. It was amazing, definetly the number one dipper. It was overkill.

I felt so disgusting the next day I had to run five miles. Can't wait for the next dipping party.

The Curse is back

2006-06-21T19:40:00.000-07:00

To recap the year of the bad:
January: crash and total my car
February: throw back out (DOING YOGA!!!) + Flat Tire in the freezing cold ( two for the price of one)
March: Deathly ill (almost pass out twice in hospital)

April was good and May passed benignly. I'm thinking the two for one in February gave me a month off, and maybe I was lucky in May, or it's waiting to catch me unawares.

June:
I cut my finger almost two weeks ago. Badly. You could see muscle and I cut through my nail. Probably needed stitches, but I'm too dumb to realize. I figured wrapping it in a paper towel until it stopped bleeding was good enough. Except it took a while to do that, and the wound kept separating for days. I had to apply manual pressure to keep that sucker closed tight. Plus, IT STILL HURTS!

On the funny side, though, it's my middle finger, so I keep sticking it out trying to protect it and inadvertently keep giving everyone the finger.

Sugar and spice and everything nice

2006-06-08T19:41:00.000-07:00

Apparently I'm the Spice Girls number one fan. How did this happen? I couldn't tell you. All I know is within a two week period I've heard their songs. Oh, wait, there's more to this story. First time was at a bar. Spice Girls at a bar? How lame, I know. It wasn't the whole song, just the beginning of Wannabe, you know, their first song (I'll tell you what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want). The DJ mercifully changed it right away, but not before everyone at the table was about to start singing and dancing. Ok, maybe that one could be looked over. Everyone was into it and was amused. Yet the story doesn't stop there.

While at Cold Stone Creamery getting some cake batter-y goodness, me and Anita are bopping our heads to the songs being played, when all of a sudden, another ol' Spice Girls ditty comes on. Now, not only can I identify that it's the Spice Girls (Anita didn't know that), I was also able to tell her that it is entitled "Stop" and that it's off their second album "Spiceworld", you know, when all five of the girls were still together and before their third album came out after Geri left the group and ventured out on her own and went on to become a UN Goodwill ambassador.

Why do I know this? What is wrong with me?

Damn witches!

2006-06-08T19:15:00.000-07:00

Charmed is ruining my life. Yes, that silly little show about witches. It started slowly. I would catch random repeats here and there when bored and channel surfing. Then one day, they decided to put on a marathon during the Super Bowl. Of course, instead of studying or out saving lives and not being sports inclined, I decide to sit and watch all 12 episodes. Then I start watching regularly every Sunday. Of course, that's not enough. Now I'm taping all the repeats everyday, two episodes everyday. The thing is, it's not even great television. It's silly mindless entertainment. Some say i've had a void in my life since Buffy ended (shut up all you haters, that was a great show and you know it). I don't know if that's true or not, but I just can't seem to stop. It doesn't help that I'm playing with the crazies and finish early everyday, so what do I do? Come home, watch two hours of Charmed, and end up taking a nap on the couch. Each day that passes I get sucked in more. I have to know what happens next, and since I came halfway through the show, I have to keep watching when they start the first few seasons again. It's a vicious cycle, it won't stop. Damn TIVO is ruining my life!!!

Happy April!

2006-05-03T15:18:00.000-07:00

The year started off rocky, with crap happening every month, but April seemed to have pass well (for the most part). The weather became nice, my birthday was nice and chill (thanks for the happy wishes everyone!), I went to see Bridge & Tunnel, ate at a french bistro (LOVE THEM CREPES!!!). Everything was pretty good, except for the volcano. What volcano you ask? The huge honker that was gestating on my forehead. What a way to celebrate getting older. Nothing makes me feel all grown up and mature like acne. I'm 28 going on 13! Happy Birthday to Me!!! So I guess that might count as something bad happenning to me for the month of April (I mean, come on, that bad boy definetly scared away any cuties even slightly glancing in my direction, it ruined my playa-hood!). Oh well, bring on May!

2006-04-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

The coffee shop at Brookdale Hospital, where I've been doing Anesthesiology this month (those clever hospital types). I was amused when I saw it, or maybe I was delirious while studying for my end of rotation exam (I should probably be studying right now actually, or sleeping. I like the sleeping. Yeah, I'll go do that.)

lose those thumbs!

2006-04-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

Random conversation while watching E.R., they're treating a chimp, and they just said 96% of human and chimp DNA is similar

Innocent bystander

"Is that true?"

"Yeah, that sounds right."

Innocent bystander

"So what makes us so special or different?"

"I don't know... opposable thumbs"

Innocent bystander

"What? Disposable thumbs?"

Me (heavily sarcastic)

"Yes, disposable thumbs. I toss mine out all the time when i get bored or tired of them."

Ex-officer shot; his jilted cop wife held

2006-04-12T16:52:00.000-07:00

This is the trauma I saw the other day in the OR. Never cross a woman or make her mad, especially a woman that has been trained in using a lethal weapons... or just keep them at home barefoot and pregnant, forget about all that women's rights nonsense.

Ex-officer shot; his jilted cop wife held
Married 8 months ago, she's accused of hunting him down in Brooklyn
Tuesday, April 11, 2006

An eight-month marriage gone bad exploded in gunfire yesterday morning when a spurned off-duty Concord cop allegedly shot and wounded her husband, a retired police officer, while he was driving in Brooklyn.
She reportedly shot him because he was sleeping with another woman.

According to police, Alison Jamison, 42, of Mary Street, was at the wheel of a rental car when she crossed into oncoming traffic, stopped the car and pumped several bullets into Todd Jamison, 43, as he drove his Mercedes-Benz to a Chase Bank in East New York.
Then, police said, after pulling a U-turn about a block away, the 12-year veteran officer of the 70th Precinct made another pass and fired more shots at her stricken husband before fleeing to New Jersey.
Jamison, a former Community Affairs officer in the same precinct, was hit at least four times in the torso and each arm. He underwent surgery at Brookdale Hospital and was listed in stable condition, according to Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly.
Mrs. Jamison acted alone in the shooting, which occurred in front of a school at 800 Van Siclen Ave., shortly after 10 a.m., Kelly said.
She was later apprehended at the Budget Rent-A-Car booth at Newark Liberty Airport along with an unidentified female friend, Kelly said.
Charges have yet to be filed.
Whether Mrs. Jamison was on the verge of catching a flight or renting a car was not known; the late-model silver Chrysler she was driving was found by police at the airport.
Port Authority police were holding Mrs. Jamison at Newark Airport last night.

the day of wacky surgery

2006-04-07T20:49:00.000-07:00

I just started my anesthesiology rotation this week, which means I get to hang out in the OR and sit in on many surgeries all day long. All week it has been routine surgeries, but today was the day of sticking things up people's hoohas. It started with a camera going into a woman's uterus and looking inside of it, growing some crazy polyps sticking out like alien pods (you ladies got some crazy body parts let me tell ya). The day ended with sticking a metal tube and blowing air up a guy's butt looking for hemorrhoids. The best part about that was the surgeon "clearing out the passage" manually by sticking a couple of fingers in and pulling some lovely pieces out. The funniest part though was when the air built up and started coming out in spurts. I don't know what it is, but I can't help but laugh whenever people fart in public. It's a good thing I had my face mask on so nobody could see me, because I couldn't keep it together. I was just happy I didn't bust out laughing audibly.

funny pictures

2006-04-03T17:46:00.000-07:00

Funny pictures as seen on my little trip to L.A.:

Translated from Arabic, this literally says restaurant parking space (well, literally it says restauran bark sbaiz), which is all fine and dandy, but if you're advertising to an Arabic reading crowd, chances are they don't understand English, so how are they supposed to understand what park space (bark spaiz) means?

On the top of a hotel. That's the first name that pops into my mind when I think of world class elegance and sophistication.

That's the car I was driving around while out there. The definition of a manly man, don't you think?

Bananas

2006-03-19T12:46:00.000-08:00

I have a problem. See, I do this thing where I like keeping snacks at hand, for when I end up staying late at the hospital or if I'm stuck in traffic or whatever, and it's no big deal to just leave it in there and forget it so that it's a nice surprise when needed the most. It has come in handy more times than not. Usually I just keep a granola bar or some nuts stashed in my bag and/or coat pocket, but more recently I've moved into the fruit market. I figured I would be more healthy, but the thing with fruit is that it's perishable. They don't last that long, and they have the squishable factor. I started with apples, strong, durable, but again, they didn't last that long. Oranges...shrivel up. I even did the mistake of putting a peach in bag one day. Now, mind you, I was planning on eating it that day, but the day passed and I somehow forgot about it. Fast forward 2 weeks later: I pull out a book and find the bottom of it wet and smelly like. I pull out the tie I threw in there that day to wear later and find it a mess.

Now, you would think I would learn my lesson from this, but no. After a meeting one day, I grab a pear and put it in my vest pocket to eat later, only I don't. It probably was a mistake to leave it in there or not take it out when I got home, but I figured I would eat it the next day, only, the next day was colder and I wore my coat instead of vest. Three weeks later, the next time I put on the vest, I have a nice mushy surprise waiting for me.

NOW you would think I would learn my lesson, but not yet. While working in the Peds ER, I noticed a smell. I couldn't find where it was coming from and forgot about it. The next day I noticed the smell and yet again I couldn't find it. Driving home, I smelt it again. I gave myself the sniff test, but it wasn't me. Figured it might be my labcoat. The next day, I pulled out a book, noticed a bit of stickyness to it and paid it no heed. The next day, I pulled out some papers and noticed some wetness and sticky and smelly. That managed to pique my interest and got me searching through my bag. After pulling out practically all my crap, I find a banana in there. Not just any banana, but a squished, black and smelly banana.

Apparently I seemed to have put a banana in my bag at some point, and managed to forget about it. I don't know how long that banana was in that bag, I don't know how it managed to get to the bottom of my bag and get squished and get all over my books and papers and turn them all brown and nasty. I need help.

The Year of the Bad

2006-03-16T16:38:00.000-08:00

I have come to the conclusion that 2006 is the year of bad things happening to me (aren't I so vain?) I thought it would be the year of trying new or different things (which I have been doing and very proud of myself), but alas it is also the year of the evil eye. What am I talking about?

January
Well, it all started back in January. I wake up as usual at 4 in the morning to go to the hospital for some baby catching, and while I'm driving, I manage to slip on some black ice, swerve all out of control, drift towards oncoming traffic, then spin around a couple of times and smash in the front end of my lovely mazda (oh how I miss thee...). Well, at least I walked away unscathed from the event, with just my pride and feelings hurt ( I did NOT want to part with my baby, I became attached to it after all these years). Okay, fine, out with the old, in with the (semi)-new. Out of this bad event I manage to find a great deal on a 2005 Jeep Liberty. Yay! Congrats to me!

February
Ona health kick and doing well. I'm eating pretty good and working out every day. Then I wake up one day and do yoga, which I have been doing for a while now with no problem, only today, my back decides to mess with me and give out. Now I'm miserable and in pain all day trying to deal with whiny kids vomiting and diarrheaing all over the place and getting rings stuck on their fingers. Yet I manage to pull through, undauted. Then one week later, I wake up on a freezing morning, tea in hand, ready to brave the weather, ready for the kids. I start driving... and realize I have a flat tire!!! Not only that, my car jack is the worst possible jack in the world, and it takes me 2 and a half hours to change my tire in the freezing cold. Now, mind you, this is not the first time I have had to change a tire, and I am not an idiot (no matter what some people may think), but that morning, fate was against me. The jack wasn't cooperating with me, i couldn't use it with my gloves on, so I had to do it barehanded, my legs and feet are freezing (as is my behind), I can't feel my fingers anymore, snot is dripping down my nose, and my nice work pants now have grease stains all over them that I haven't been successful in washing out yet, AND my back still hurts.

In case you're keeping count, that's two in one month.

March
So February hit hard. One might think I would be in the clear for March or at least get hit lightly. Well, no such luck. I thought I was going strong, I hadn't gotten sick yet amidst all the diseased infants, but no, it was just waiting for me, lulling me into a false sense of security, waiting to pounce at just the right time. It started gradually, a sore throat for a few days, stuffy nose a few days after that, then the body aches came one morning. I was still determined not to let it get the best of me, but then one morning, standing around for morning report, I started feeling weird, not right. Then BAM! I started feeling faint and had to sit on the floor so I wouldn't pass out. Mind you, this is in the middle of the hallway, and all these residents are standing around reporting on their patients, and does anyone bother to see what's wrong with this kid that's decided to sit in the middle of them reporting? NO!!!! Okay, fine, I feel better, let me stand up again. Two minutes later, it happens again and back on the floor I go. I break out in a sweat (seriously, I'm DRENCHED). Finally they finish and one of the residents comes up to me and is like," you don't look so well, why don't you go sit down for a minute." Gee, thanks for coming to my rescue all concerned like and what not people. Hey, aren't we in a hospital? Are we not supposed to help those needing help, the infirmed, the needy? HELLO!!! MAN DOWN PEOPLE, MAN DOWN!!!! USE THOSE POWERS OF OBSERVATION YOU'VE BEEN TAUGHT TO USE AND HELP THOSE IN NEED!!!! Come on now people. So great, I'm home in bed for two day, feeling off, and it's been two days now and I'm still feeling flu-ish.

So that's my story people. I'm convinced 2006 is not the year for me. Vain, self-centered you say? Whatever! I should really reconsider getting on a plane at the end of the month, flying might not be the best idea...

The Best Website in the World!!!

2006-03-14T08:33:00.000-08:00

Guaranteed to bring at least a smile to your face. Check it out:

http://members.cox.net/ahmedheissa/

2006-03-11T22:27:00.000-08:00

My mom makes the most amazing baklava that everyone goes crazy over, and Anita (my roomie) loves to bake, both being a bad combination for me. Anita finally got the recipe from my mom, which involves making the sinfully sweet syrup, making the nuts, preparing the phyllo dough, etc. Now keep in mind that this is being translated from Arabic to English. My mom tells me the nut combination is equal parts almonds, walnuts, and filberts. Hence me and Anita embark on finding the ingredients to make the baklava. Got the ingredients to make the syrup (check), find the right phyllo dough (check), get the almonds (check), get the walnuts (check)... but where to find the filberts? Now mind you, I've never heard of filbert nuts, but figure I'm just ignorant and everyone knows what they are, but we keep looking for these filbert nuts everywhere and can't find them.

Many supermarkets were searched, but to no avail. It got so bad that Anita even went ahead and made a tray using just the almonds and walnuts, but that didn't seem to work out so well. It got to the point that Anita almost gave up on the whole baklava making, until one fateful day when we're with Tracy (the wonder chef), and we recounted to her our dilemma, which she then kindly informs us that the hazelnut is part of the filbert family.

Needless to say, we were both speechless. Do you know how many times we passed hazelnuts everywhere we went? I call my mom and ask her why she didn't tell me that filbert nuts were simply known as hazelnuts, and she was as surprised as I was. Apparently at the mid east grocer and amongst fellow foreigners, they all refer to hazelnuts as filberts. Foreigners are funny. So in any case, we go to get some filberts/hazelnuts, and lo and behold what do we find at the same supermarket we scourged for filberts to begin with?

Me shleepy....

2006-03-03T18:26:00.000-08:00

Kids are tiring. It's the end of the week, I've been following kids being sick all week, and I have no energy. Vomiting and diarrhea can really take it out of you (literally I guess). That's all I've been seeing though, is 1-2 year olds puking and crapping, refusing to eat, getting sick, blah blah blah blah blah. And now I have no energy or motivation to do anything, especially since I have to go in tomorrow because I'm on call (on a Saturday...WOO HOO!!!), and so is Anita. So how do we spend our one free Friday night? Partying on the town? Going wild and crazy? Nope, we've been permanently affixed on our respective couches, eating chicken fingers and fries and watching TiVo'ed episodes of Lost and bad tennybopper tv on The N. What kind of bad tv you ask? check out the website http://www.the-n.com/, where you can see which N guy is your dream date or what's your inner hair color. Yes, I need help. Sleep, and help.

kids are dumb

2006-02-26T09:28:00.000-08:00

So I was in the Peds ER (working, not maimed), which has been fun, but sometimes kids are annoying and dumb. It was the end of my shift at 10 at night and I was about to get ready to go so I can get home and go sleep so I can be back at 8 in the morning (good times), when one of the docs grabs me and asks me to help her out. She takes me to one of the exam rooms and there, lo and behold, is the idiot. This 11 year old girl apparantly managed to jam a ring on her finger that was too small and now couldn't get it off...and her finger was mad swollen and turning a lovely shade purple. So The doc had me use "THE RING CUTTER", which is like a mini manual circular saw (you may have seen one if you yourself have been dumb in the past and had to go to the ER for a similar event.) So I have this contraption and I'm cranking on it trying to cut this damn ring off, i'm cranking and cranking, my hands are getting crampy and tetanized, trying to distract this girl (with my shining wit), and then she starts complaining. "Ow this hurts...Hurry up...Why you taking so long...My finger hurts...Come on, this is taking too long, my finger hurts..."

ummm....excuse me, aren't you the idiot that put on a small ring? Don't get mad at me for you being stupid. Yeah it's taking a long time, i'm freaking manually turning this thing with my non-dominant hand and that stupid ring is mad thick. I wanted to hit her upside the head. It didn't help that her mother was mocking her the whole time telling her that's what she gets for playing with things that don't belong to her (but very amusing, had to hide my smile everytime the mother riled her up). After a good 45 minutes of turning the stupid ring cutter and the girl's finger blowing up 3 sizes too big and purple and my hand ready to fall off, they decide to get the electrical ring cutter (must have been too logical to do that from the get go). The girl sees that and says,"No, we'll stick to this one" meaning the stupid one i've been turning and it took all my might not to want to smack some sense into her. We start using the electrical one and she starts screaming it hurts it hurts and her mother had to literally had to hold her down, but she can't feel a thing, there's a guard thing that's protecting her from being cut, AND her damn finger is swollen and numb, so how the heck can you say it hurts you big idiot. 2 seconds later the ring is off and she starts bawling and all I could do was laugh silently in the corner. Damn, I'm evil.

2006-02-22T20:36:00.000-08:00

Random thought/ confession: For the longest time I was in the closet about this, but I think I've come to terms with it and am ready to admit to it: I like Kelly Clarkson. Mock me all you want.

2006-02-22T19:00:00.000-08:00

While crippled and in pain from throwing out my back (whilst doing yoga...who does that, seriously...isn't yoga supposed to be good for you and all that junk, help stretch you out... COME ON NOW!!!), thought it would be fun starting a blog of all my random thoughts and such. So I'm in my third year of medical school still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. got some ideas, maybe, but have more nots than yes. For instance, I'm so over surgery. Had the not so funnest rotation, and standing for hours in a contorted posture while holding back someone's fat flap so the surgeon can get to their insides is not my idea of fun, especially after two hours (or ten sometimes). Internal medicine... I think I'll pass. it's more like micromanaging and writing notes... after one too many hand-cramps I was ready to move on. It's more like," Oh, your potassium is high, let's give you this med and see what happens the next day." Also, having the same obese diabetic hypertensive patients day in and day out kind of got to me. They refuse to learn and try to do something about their conditions. Kind of frustrating.

Had a great time on my OB/GYN rotation, the most enjoyable as of yet, but those people have no lives. Their lives are their patients. They're there all the time and always have to be ready at any time of the day (or night) to be called in to deliver a baby. What's wrong with these fetuses, don't they know I need to sleep? Also, the one day in clinic where I had preggers who all had white cheesy itchy discharges... lets just say for a while I had no desire to even think about putting anything of mine anywhere near anyhting with XX chromosomes. Doing Peds now... teens are annoying, and babies mostly uncooperative. Is it so hard to open your mouth so I can see the dime you swallowed in the back of your throat? Is it so difficult to keep your head still so I can stick this instrument in your ear and look around in your wax impacted ear? Don't you know it's all about me? Who cares about your bloody discharge from your ear, let me poke around and learn, learn, learn!!! At least I have a few more months before I have to make any kind of decisions. Stay tuned!!!