Oh So Tempting...

as seen in Utter Wonder


The Pros and Cons of Moving to Canada.

PRO: Cleaner environment.
CON: Colder climate.

PRO: Universal healthcare.
CON: Higher tax rate.

PRO: The highest standard of living in the world.
CON: Not nearly as many Dunkin' Donuts.

PRO: Lower crime rate.
CON: My TiVo won't work there.

PRO: Quieter.
CON: The Grey Cup halftime show is always a disappointment.

PRO: Less crowded.
CON: Celine Dion.

PRO: Less traffic.
CON: The metric system.

PRO: Less partisan news media outlets.
CON: More than enough news stories about moose.

PRO: Less chance of being a victim of a terrorist act.
CON: More chance of getting beaten up in a Roadhouse.

PRO: Fewer Jesus People.
CON: More mean French-speaking waiters.

PRO: A multi-party political system.
CON: Celine Dion.

PRO: Good possibility that marijuana will be legalized.
CON: Pot makes me tell people I love them when I really don't.

PRO: No longer having a tool for neo-conservatives as my leader.
CON: Feeling guilty about abandoning my country during one of its darkest political periods.

PRO: Less homophobia, less racism, less intolerance.
CON: Celine Dion, Celine Dion, Celine Dion.

PRO: Closer to Santa.
CON: Thanksgiving is in October.

PRO: My sons won't have to help pay off the United States' mounting deficit.
CON: My sons will become huge Celine Dion fans.